Prioritising your self-pleasure
Sex is a different experience for everyone. Just like other aspects of life, it can become a bit routine, monotonous or fall lower down the priority list. This could be because we aren’t that comfortable to talk about it openly – with friends, partners or even ourselves. At endota we’re interested in bumping it up toward the top of the list, in the company of exercise, facials and healthy eating. Why? Because it’s important. And we don’t mean sex for the sake of it, to tick a box or make your partner happy. We mean sex for pleasure, sex that makes YOU happy.
The secret to better sex
If you’ve been doing something one way for a while, it can be difficult to make a change – but there’s one thing you can do to open your mind to new, more pleasurable sexual experiences. Talk about it. Communication can be one of your sexiest tools to awaken the body and mind – honest, respectful and open communication. If you don’t talk about what you want, there’s less chance that you’re actually going to get it. Try asking your partner what they like – it’s a great way to start the conversation and let them know you’re open to talking about sex outside the bedroom.
Self-love and acceptance is extremely important for overall wellbeing and it’s ok to ask for what you want and make yourself feel good.
And if you’re a partner reading this, don’t be afraid to ask questions. By simply asking “what feels good to you?” you’re going to make your partner feel heard, you’re going to set some great ideas and you’ll probably be able to try them out too. Talking about sex is pretty sexy, and engaging the mind is an important step in feeling good.
Many studies report that most women require clitoral stimulation to reach climax, even while having penetrative sex. If your partner doesn’t know this, or you’re too shy to let them know – you both could be missing out on a better sexual experience. This is the perfect opportunity to introduce toys into the relationship, or let your partner know you’d like them to use their hands (or that you’re happy to use yours). Other things you might like to ask for include spending more time on the build-up, slowing things down in general or increasing emotional intimacy so you feel more connected.
Ask yourself what you want
And if you don’t have a partner? Honest self-talk about what you want and need is just as important (if not more important) than talking to a partner. Remember you are your own best lover, partner, and friend — you are the first source of validation that you are desirable, sexy and worthy of love and affection. If you want to buy a vibrator or any other sex toy – do it! Explore the possibilities to discover what you like. Self-love and acceptance is extremely important for overall wellbeing and it’s ok to ask for what you want and make yourself feel good.
We want all women to have the confidence to talk about what they like and have fun while exploring.